KINGDOM CONFLICT

KINGDOM CONFLICT
Oil, Sand on Canvas
painted with knives
@1991
—Tony Mujica © 2012

THE TECHNIQUE:

This is derived from a painting I did years ago. I incorporated sand into the surface of the canvas, and then painted with a knife. This started out as a background for another painting, but I left it as is, because I enjoyed it too much.

THE THEME:

Kingdom Conflict is the idea that there are two kingdoms in the spiritual realm. The Kingdom of GOD and the Kingdom of Satan. Although GOD is always in control, there is the dynamic of one side advancing while the other side catches up. GOD will even allow the dark kingdom to advance ahead for a season to bring out qualities in His Kingdom. Israel's history displays this throughout the Old Testament. The concepts of dominion contention and Shabat (rest), have play here in Kingdom Conflict. When God's people do not contend for Dominion, they give up their inheritance and place of rest (dominion). The next generation has to fight to get back dominion or lose further ground.

This painting abstractly shows the invasion of Glory into Darkness. John 1:5 says,"The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it." Some versions use comprehend instead of understood.

The basic idea is like a light switch. You can turn on light in a room, but you can't turn on darkness. Darkness is always overtaken by light. When you go into an old school photography darkroom, the slightest leak of light will ruin the photo development. This is light/dark in the perfect world.

"Why then do we have so many problems with the Kingdom of Darkness?", you may be asking. The answer is complex, but boils down to one basic thing. Us. Our compliances with Satan fuels his kingdom structure. There are three things at play: mankind (us), Light (God), and Darkness(Satan). We are the center point here. We line up with one of the two others, but never both. Two-thirds majority rules (Well, not really. GOD can at any given point override the rule —after all, we are created, so is Satan, but He is uncreated. He is GOD), except when GOD uses his Sovereign option. That's when He does something because He wants to do it, regardless of the situation or when He does things to coincide with His perfect will and plan.

Another way to understand this is to replace a few words. The Kingdom of Light becomes the Kingdom of Love. The Kingdom of Darkness becomes the Kingdom of Fear. When Love rises, Fear cowers. When Fear moves forward, Love pulls back. What happens when Perfect Love (Agape) rises? Fear is cast out. Perfect Love casts out all fear.

In this hour, GOD is raising up His people not only to love the things He loves or hate the things he hates. He is calling us into exercising Agape love. That is love without a hook in it. Love that has no agenda. It is applied without consideration of return.It knows no boundaries or limits. This Love, which is the GOD kind of love is "so that the love with which You loved Me (Jesus) may be in them, and I in them." (John 17:26 b)

However dormant, we have that kind of love inside of us. We will have to operate in this high level of love, as we move forward into hard times ahead. It's time to wake up, oh sleeper!

—Tony Mujica © 2012This is also on my other blog

The Word, The Voice, The Poet

Reply: Rilke Quote

From Tag Team Poets FB Group Page

"If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it, blame yourself for you are not poet enough to call forth it's riches" - Rainer Maria Rilke

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

THE WORD, THE VOICE, THE POET

I AM rhythm-rhymed word
have you not heard?
I sang creation to being
and sent darkness fleeing

I AM Word a.k.a. Voice
be glad, cheer and rejoice
as Persona Voice wins
over impersonal word

I AM beauty song
the notes for which you long
upper structure to which
your heart sings in pitch

you rhyme 'cause I rhyme
My timeless bends your time
Alpha Omega or Aleph Tov
serving food most don't know of

I AM, as source of poetic riches,
saving you from poetry glitches
rhythmic twists from time stitches
set to song with musical pitches

— Tony Mujica © 2012

-------------------------------------------

Shop Notes: This quote was difficult because its gravitational pull wanted to steer me away from where my heart wanted to go. It was quite a challenge, because I had to pull away from it. I succeeded by throwing my focus on Jesus, as the one who, as Master Poet, is more than poet enough to call my riches forth.

ZING GO THE STRINGS

zing went the strings

o' my broken heart

making me sing

He plays my part

res'nant ring

in heaven's chart

God's love brings

through His art

doin' His thing

just doin' His thing

Godfingers across

my heart's harp

going beyond the

flat and sharp

He plays a

broken instrument

to bring about

His sound implement

— Tony Mujica © 2012

There comes a point

when fasting,

there's a point

when you become

the fast

when in solitude,

there's a point

when you carry solitude

through a crowd

when silent,

there's a point

when words leak

out through actions

when worshiping,

there's a point

when you become

the song

— Tony Mujica © 2012

Tag Team Poets

I had a wonderful opportunity to write a poetic response to my Serbian friend, Jelena Bogdanovich’s poem through Facebook. I sensed what it’s like to do back-to-back poetry, much like wrestlers do with tag-team wrestling. I am reminded of tag-team evangelism on the streets of Chicago years ago with friends. We would take turns, have a go at it, and then, pass the mic on to the next person, who would add from where the last person left off.

It seems to me that Tag Team evangelist poets wrestle with God, but with words.

Here is Jelena’s poem:


JAZZ FOR THE BONES OF THE LOCUST TREE

You're the rain that falls on my bones
Of the locust tree;
A pearl, on my most fragile joints.
So, You are playing jazz
On Your giant contrabass
With the percussions
Of rain
In the background
You know very well
I would not believe You a word
Today, so you come as a music
Soaking my ground:
"Girl,
I'm not ashamed of your humanity..."

 
And here is mine along with one of my paintings:


HORSE CAT TREE


expressed jazz moans

in soulful tones

through loans from various sources

like trees,

like cats,

and horses

 
the bassist plays with

expressive ways

a bow across the strings

and the wooden bass sings

the chambered cry

of a felled tree

no wonder why

but i feel free

at cost of

horse, cat, tree

more like a wail

it weeps without fail as

horsehair bow brings

sounds so low

from catgut strings

causing my heart's glow

— Tony Mujica © 2012

The Bassist
(Portrait of Eberhard Weber)
Oil on Canvas
14" x 18"

SHAMAR, QUANTUM, AND BRIDAL FABRIC

This post developed in response to a Facebook discussion about the Movie, "August Rush" and a new Fox TV show, "Touch". Touch is on Thursday nights, right after national idolatry (Oops, American Idol).

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

There's an attraction that people have to things that bind us together. Anarchy doesn't work. Interdependence does. Movies and TV shows, (like August Rush and Touch) that explore the inter-connectedness of Man tap into this.


It's written in creation. It's written in God's word. God told Adam to "shamar" (keep, maintain, guard) His garden. Concerning Abel's disappearance, Cain with misunderstanding, responds to God, "What am I, my brother's Shamar?"


I think God's silent answer was, "Yes, Cain, you are!"


God desires that the walls that separate us fall to the ground. He wanted Jonah to go to a foreign people to bring warning. Jonah eventually complied to the Lord's pressing.


God wants us to care for each other, no matter if it's your neighbor or some foreigner on the other side of the globe.


The evidence is there.


QUANTUM
Even science is arriving at the conclusion. Quantum physics speak loud about the subject - the relation of things. Is it a wave or a particle? Tiny components seem to know what the scientist is wanting. They "cooperate" with the scientist and become what is expected in the tests. It messes the researcher up.


In their studies, they find that two waves or particles in relation to the same stimulus or source, no matter how far apart, react the same way. A butterfly flaps it's wings on the other side of the planet. It affects us here on this side.


Angels and saints in worship before God fall down before Him. They cast their crowns before Him. Though the weight of His presence is on them, they all get up for another round, soon to be flattened again.


We worship in this reality. We find ourselves buckling in the knees before God, and down we go for the count. We get up again. It happens again.


I think that this happens in sync with Heaven. We (us here and those in Heaven) fall down together. We act in Quantum. We, in both realities, behave the same way in the presence of the same stimulus or source, God.


The next time you feel the compulsion to fall down during worship, it may be that your loved one in Heaven, has just fallen down before Him, also.


You see, this inter-relationship even goes beyond this globe.


BRIDAL FABRIC
There is thread that connects God's Kingdom Folk. (see a vision concerning this at “The Shower Of Gold Coins"). This thread that binds us is not unique to us. It was God's design from the get-go. This is why movies like August Rush are so popular. They address a cry, a longing, to love each other and the existence of a personal entity who moves us toward each other.


God made Man to love. Love in the vertical aspect (loving God), and love in horizontal aspect (loving each other). We also are made to be loved (in both aspects as well).


God sees us in many ways. He sees us individually. He sees us corporately. He listens to our weeping when we come to Him in brokenness. He views a group as one. He'll even refer to an entire nation as one person.
That thread that binds His people is laced with love that covers it like wax. He sees us beyond national origin, race, and identities that separate. Jesus holds us together (read the section starting at Colossians 1:15). His love binds us. We really are our brother's Shamar.

A Heart No One Else Could Open

by Tony Mujica

Sometimes the encounter you pray for isn’t quite what you expected.

---

I saw my heart lying there in the middle of the throneroom. Its beat was constantly throbbing; it pulsed with life.

Engraved upon it was this:

"No room for lesser lovers."

It had a seal upon it. No one could open it's seal — no one, that is, except One.

Lo and behold, I heard the voice of the Word. The lone heart on the floor looked like it was wanting to move. If it had legs it would have ran toward the Voice. It became animated after hearing the resounding Word.

"Henani! Here I am, the One who shuts so no one opens and opens so no one shuts!"

My heart pounded so forcefully it looked like someone was in it trying to punch his way out. Indeed, it had already succeeded in running on ahead of me to meet the Lover of my soul.

With scarred hands, He picked up my heart. I expected Him to pull out a set of keys from His pocket. He did not. Instead He held the heart in His left hand and with His right hand He lined up the hole of His palm scar over the center of the heart seal latch.

My heart opened. Dim light escaped from within it. It was dim, but at least it was lit. It was like putty in His hands, waiting for reshaping.

"Come forth!", He boomed with authoritative command. A wisp of amber light trailed in spiral pattern out from the heart. At first I thought it was smoke but no smoke could burn so bright. The light was alive. It seemed to move with a mind of it's own. It broke from It's initial spiraled release and, in improvised trail, it made it's way to its' source, the one called "the Light of men".

My light moved toward His feet, and paused as if it were bowing before Him. Then it wrapped around His legs and caressed Him like a kitten brushing one's leg. Then the amber continued wrapping around the rest of his frame. His own light, which already was ablaze, seemed to grow even brighter. His smile broke into deep laughter. I think He knew what I was thinking.

"Yeshua, my Lord, I never thought it would look like this. You're brighter. Is it really because of my light?

"Yes, Yes. I released the light of life that I deposited in you, years ago. You have been through a lot of adversity. I have been releasing grace to shine in stages throughout your walk with me. I grow brighter because you, as overcomer, give me glory."

I looked into those eyes , so full of love and acceptance. I did not want to blink. My body was at the point of collapse, but His eyes seemed to hold me from falling.

"Now, I have fanned the flame of passion needed to run the course of your remaining years. I did not remove the scar tissue around your heart. The evidence of your wounding remains, just like the scars on my own hands."

I thought I would be healed in my body. Before I could think a disappointed thought, He told me, "Your healing is not here today. Go on with faith and continue to please me. For now, My grace will do."

"I breathe life into you, so that you can love others with a purer love. That is your best weapon against the kingdom of fear. Be filled with my Agape and guard your heart to stay tuned into Me."

The amber smoke light trail unwrapped itself from Yeshua as I continued to stare at my Jesus. I blinked and Jesus left the room. My heart was no longer on the floor. It paced within my chest. I felt so alive and reassured. I thought that it was odd because I was sure I was getting healed this time. I can't explain it, but I could continue on now, with all the physical pain, even with all the disappointing heartache of life. Shalom peace rested on me.

I found myself back in my bed. Knowing that someday I will be healed.

— Tony Mujica ©2012

Tina Guo music video - Apres Un Reve - YouTube

Tina Guo music video - Apres Un Reve - YouTube:


This video touches me in a deep way. Tina's Cello squeezes my heart.

The puppetry is amazing. At 03:14 is a prophetic picture of the position of the humble servant before God with heart below head. Heart below head happens in the lowest bow of deep worship. It's here that one lines up with God. Our mind gets out of the way and lets the heart commune with the One beyond comprehension, whose ways are higher than ours.

The Man, The Sponge

Sometimes words form inside me, short and to the point.

 

The Man, The Sponge

(Ode to Sponge Bob)

 

the man was squeezed
and worship poured out
victory triumphs
the common pout

the sponge recharged
with holy essence
soaked in bath
of Godly presence

where and when for
his next squeeze?
braced for pain
but Lord is pleased

- Tony Mujica © 2012

A Life Parenthetical

A Life Parenthetical
     

My life is in parentheses.
Just like a break within the breeze.
Or whirlwind's interior, the eye of a hurricane
Is it of a madness or of the sane?

I seem to query, but really don't doubt.
Heaven has purpose, that's why this came about.
Poised at standstill, a button pressed pause
Contemplative focus, in place, the noble cause.

Parenthetical breaks away from the text.
Selah, pondering, "What does comes next?"
Training necessary, nowadays, to endure.
To avoid the fall, for remaining pure.

Pumping iron for spiritual muscle,
To say yes to Him, amidst the great tussle.
Busy, busy, in beholding, while still,
An ironic path to getting my fill.

You really don't owe me an explanation
But you wooed me by Your book-o-Revelation
A meeting place at Chapters Five and Four
You know my excitement beyond that door.

A beauty realm - such exquisite detail,
Your Glory makes all else seem pale.
Can't pledge my loyalty unto another.
To do so only means lesser lover.

But when, Great Author, will you decide
To activate my journey, end pause to my ride?
Getting back to main text is not my decision.
You see the big pic with exacting precision.

For you are the Author of this wisp of a life.
You bring resolution, sense made of my strife.
Settled not just in the role of survivor,
You penned that my life should be, rather, the thriver.

 

— Tony Mujica © 2011

Out Of Their Clutches

it was God's decision

to woo my volition

He painted His vision

with uncanny precision.

i was His choice, a subject

from life's train wreck.

at the point that

causes cracking

'cuz o' constant

demonic whacking.

delivered from

that rubber room

my witness is as

the flower in bloom

fire-dross-burning to

heart-consume

then drenched in wafts

of kingly perfume.

why am I pointing to

His anointing?

to me it's just as

clear as a bell.

He took the time

to wipe my crime

and now i'm no longer

bound for hell.

scratch your head

along with me

His ways are

way above us.

objection filed

from hell below —

i'm why there's

spiritual ruckus.

they hate the fact

that people like me

are yanked right out

of their clutches.

to top it off,

i'm cleaned and groomed

and given

the heavenly touches!

- Tony Mujica ©2011

Love For The One You Can't Have

This is an ode for those who have experienced the solitary, lonely place in God's loving presence. Those who have tasted sometimes are altered so that nothing else will do. They've tasted the highest love and cannot settle for lesser loves, but yet the desire for lateral love remains as a whisper. By God's grace, vertical love triumphs over the lateral.* The poem is also for those who have experienced deep heartbreak and rejection.

Love For The One You Can't Have

Vials and bottles on Heaven's shelf
       are filled with tears dripped by self
Collected they are, by my winged escorts
       dripped grief-drops of all sorts.
Running into position, I go again
       to the embrace of my eternal friend
              between the trusted hands of
                     the olive press.
Slow-squeezed-cranking out my duress,
       the stress of duress under an olive press
squeezes 100% pure essence - no less.

Is this a true virgin olive oil?
       To the victor goes the spoil.

I used to toot a jazz-tune called
       "Love for the one you can't have".
On my wounds
       the sounds were salve.
Audible translation of healing balms
       like straight out of the book of Psalms —
Temporary relief for life's rejection,
       a transitory shelter
              my pro tem protection.

That worldly song pointed me there
       to Otherworld
              — the Judah Lion's lair.

You see, that love for the one
       you can't have
(whether not for today
       or never to have)
drives us to God's faithful one
       Heaven's Darling,
              the only begotten Son.
Rejection, whether real or perceived
       brings reward
              when properly relieved.

Lateral love, misguided as it may be,
       can bring in close the Son who sets free.
When overturned to side, it points one up.
       Sour dregs to lemonade,
              sipped from the cup
Rejection, whether real or perceived
       reveals Godly treasure,
              when properly relieved.

— Tony Mujica © 2012
 
 

"Fragrant Pressing, Fragrant Blessing"
Graphite on paper
Tony Mujica © 2008

When I am squeezed what comes out of me?

 

---

---

* note: "Vertical love triumphs the lateral." This is a reference to the vertical and horizontal aspects of man.

Vertical
Built into mankind is a vertical longing. Man was created to love God. It may be expressed in negative ways, through drugs, sex, etc., but the root desire is a longing for God. The vertical (when aligned with God) goes straight to God outside creation.

Horizontal
Also built into man is horizontal longing. Man was created in relationship to a larger element, creation. Man wasn't made to be alone. Despite Cain's Genesis cry, we ARE our brother's keeper. Like John, the revelator, we are not to worship angels. They are beings created within the horizontal aspect. Worship is meant to be pointed up through the vertical, to the one who stands outside the bubble of creation. Worship directed sideways is idolatry.

The Cross
Together the two form a cross. The shorter crossbeam is sideways, parallel to the ground. It isn't rooted (without the tall centerbeam, it remains on the ground). Man's priority focus was originally on the longer beam (Longer beam, vertical = Primary emphasis, God), which is rooted in the ground and extends toward Heaven. Adam in his original state was totally reliant on God.

Emphasis on God alone is incomplete. Without the horizontal, a cross is just a lonely pillar. God enjoys us corporately, as well as individually. Our interaction with each other is part of His design.

Running In The Spirit

Floored Again! Once more, He peels me off the pavement.

“He who runs in front of the car gets tired. He who runs behind gets exhausted."
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
I saw this in my Droid's daily joke app. I thought it was funny and posted it yesterday on Facebook. I woke up in the middle of my sleep to write another thing. I saw this silly post. I wondered, "why on Earth did I post this". The question really needs rephrasing. "Why in heaven... The Lord started pouring out the following idea to me:

Tire Squeals

I stand here with tire marks on my face, from the moving car of God and His presence. I ran in front of His car (which is more like an eighteen wheeler) with confident expectation that He wants to spend time with me. Of course He does. He runs toward me with even more excitement (and speed) than I, just like a Father sees beloved son in the distance (a prodigal? I pray not). Not only that, He flattens me. I recover in a cartoon state, with flattened image of Tony on the road. He picks me up, brushes me off, revives me, and then places me in the distance for another go at it. I hear God laughing (in His "loving” way) while He revs His engine, as He moves with tire squeal. He loves these "hit and re-runs". This is His grace.
But it seems whenever I chase Him from behind, in my own strength, I just get exhausted. It's so hard to chase God. Yet even when I chase Him in my flesh, there is validity and blessing in this. In the process, I am overcome with God's exhaust. (Naturally, His exhaust is not like earthly poison.) I wind up "down-for the-count-on-the-floor" again.
He stops the truck. He laughs and says "That kid o' mine has got spunk. Let's do this again!". He gets out of the vehicle, walks back to me, picks me up, dusts me off, and whispers kind words to me. Then He either leaves me there to engage in the chase again, or He places me off in the horizon for the next round of hit and re-run.

Such is life in His presence — running, not walking, in the spirit.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Note about this post: For creative license and comedic effect, I did not include the countless rides in God's vehicle — the encounters in His presence. I focused on the God chase, the romancing process.

A Kingdom Word For Those Who Would Receive It

I recently prophesied a word to a friend. I felt that most of the content was for others as well, so I asked Jesus for more. The following is what the Lord impressed me to share. It may seem distant from your present reality but lean into it anyways. He often speaks from eternal perspective, which is why it can sound disconnected from where your walk is at the moment. It may float in present tense and in future tense. These are observations of you from outside the bubble of time. Ask God to make this future reality collide with your present one. He will help you succeed with this because He really wants you to succeed.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

I have given you much so that you can be a giver to others. I have comforted you so that you can comfort others. I love you with passion so that you will pass on My passion to others.


Be encouraged. Keep pressing into My heart. I will open up the depths for you. As you spend time before me, I will cause you to explode on the inside with my resounding love song. I will echo resonantly and cause changes to happen in you from the inside out. You are my workmanship, my masterpiece. I will bring you to completion. I will refine and define you. That's my job. After all, a painting doesn't paint itself now, does it?


I delight in making you look good. I love watching my lambs roar like lions. My process in you gives me glory. It has thrilled me to watch you grow up. You started walking in your diapers, then gained confidence and began running. But when you fell, I caught you. I wiped away your tears, but then you broke away to run some more. As you grew, you learned how to scale mountains while humming songs, my favorite songs. You learned how to worship Me in everything you do. You learned the ways of My Kingdom of Love. You learned how to hum throughout the day. I watched and smiled as you grew in confidence. Wherever you went I was also with you. You included me in your life. You stopped pushing me away. We did everything together.


As we began to walk as one, you began to do great damage to the Kingdom of fear. Just as My perfect love casts out all fear, My love kingdom pushes out that fear kingdom. The soles of your shoes are filled with demon guts. You trample on enemy forces. You don't seek out confrontations, you just walk with me, as we sing songs. The enemy begins to scatter when they see you coming. They hate your songs. You have grown out of their influence and are becoming a direct threat to their strategies. Continue to worship me in everything you do and I will fight your battles.


As you spend time with me, I line up people for you to minister to. You minister out of overflow, sharing my light with those that need it. They are greatly affected by the light bouncing off you. When you were still before Me, I polished you so you would be my reflector. Every time you are still before Me, I do this. You see, I paint you from the inside out as you fill your mind with my word. Then I polish you so that my painting shines bright from your interior outward. You mirror my likeness.


My favorite sound of all is the yes coming from your lips. That one word is the sweetest symphony and serenade for my ears. You are learning to always say yes to Me, like I did to My father when I walked on Earth. This is holiness, My Shulamite.


Obey Me.


Reflect Me.

A "MUNDANE" ROUTINE THAT LEADS TO CREATIVITY

I am writing this as a result of a Facebook conversation about creativity. It started as a post by FBer Paulette Insall, referring to an internet article, "How Mundane Routines Produce Creative Magic". 

My approach is the antithesis of routine, and not mundane by any means. Please share in my comments section after this post, about your daily routines. I value your opinion and would appreciate your input.  

1) Do you have a daily routine that helps you create?

I concentrate on staying in constant communion with God. Very simple.

  

Hard to maintain at times, but I am growing in staying in this constant flow. I diligently work at cutting out distractions of any sort. When I first consciously explored this approach, I spent several days, even weeks, in my room alone with God. I did not plan on fasting but the Lord pulled me into it. No food or drink for days and not even missing it! I would get lost in His presence. I have found that it's easy to enter the disciplines when God woos you into them. They become effortless. If you want to change the way you think or behave, to come more in line with God - stand in His presence. It's hard to stay there and not get some of Him rubbing off on you.

I had my phone and sketchbook with me in my room, which enabled me to write/sketch out revelations from the Lord.

Many years ago, I attempted to maintain marathons in His presence like this, but I would inevitably be the one leaving, never God. He would say, "Don't go." I would later realize that in my hurry to run off to do errands, I didn't hear the rest of what he was telling me, "Don't go, take me with you." Those last four words have turned my lifewalk upside down.

I noticed that when I first started applying those four words, I had extreme difficulty. It's easy to be isolated, but very hard to reintegrate into a world that marches to the beat of a different drummer. I would leave my room on the second floor. By the time I reached the last step into the first floor, I had left my flow, and fizzled into an old man mindset, as if I had never had any exchange with the Lord. But God as Jealous Lover of my soul, patiently brought this to my attention. I retreated to my room as a saline puddle on the floor, crying out for a solution to this problem. I say this because all of this is His doing. It takes God to know God. I can only know Him by His revelatory permission, only entering in by His grace. There is nothing in me that enables me to access Him, other than the blood-stained garment of Christ (Hebrews 10:19-22).

This approach keeps me in constant flow. It may be quite different than other means. I run away from seeking my own expression. Part of being a minstrel (visual minstrel) is dedicating and surrendering my expression in favor of seeking out God's expression.There's power in the unaltered song of the Lord (music), or vision of the Lord (visual arts). Like King David, prophetic worshipers must be priests after God's own heart, a kingdom of priests. I never lose my identity in this. My expression always comes through in the process. God loves the soulic part of my being (when it is lined up with Him). HE SAVORS OUR FLAVOR. That's why I can say I'm His favorite and His flavorite.

One of the benefits, of using this "routine"(anything but mundane routine - a thrill for every second):

The creative element flows into everything you do. One can become a musician orchestrated into the symphony of life (even if you have a tin ear and don't know how to play). In other words, it provides the means to practice the presence of God, thereby enabling one to "walk in the Spirit". This is just the beginning. This is NORMAL CHRISTIANITY, the way God intends everybody to walk (that's a direct quote from the gospel according to TONY, he-he-he! Good thing there's no such book). Good thing, there's no such book!

Even when recent illness (Quad bypass heart surgery and resultant nerve damage) derailed my ability to paint or play trumpet, God so wanted me to worship Him without skipping a beat that He brought in another avenue for me to explore: writing and poetry. He gave me the ability to focus my thoughts in words. The day before, I could not write. I mean I knew how because of schooling, but couldn't put words together, couldn't rhyme. Often, in school I would be the last one turning in an exam. I would get frustrated at the blank sheet, whenever I attempted to journal. God so loves me that He provided a way for me to express my love to Him, when my other routes became too painful. Isn't that something how much He cares for every detail of our lives? I love Him so.

One of the most difficult things I find with this approach:

1) Time oriented things

Schedule is an area that I find most difficult. I am on God's schedule, not my own. When I spend long hours before God I find myself in the timeless place with the eternal God, the Ancient of Days. Because of that, He has stretched my understanding of schedule, of anything related to time. He has taught me to view things from eternal perspective. I now know the value of pulling back from viewing things from a human mindset. I don't always do it, because I am a work in process. But at least, I am aware that God's ways are high above man's ways of thinking.

During the long stretches with the Lord, He began showing me another discipline (like fasting, silence, or solitude). It is an outgrowth of the Watch of the Lord. I call it the discipline of the "Surrendered Schedule". It's not for everyone, most cannot grasp the importance of it or even the validity. But it is another form of voluntary weakness. It causes a wooing cry within your spirit. It is yet another avenue to walk while worshiping God. If you have time for it.

I used to work as a limousine chauffeur. I always had to be on time, in fact, early and well prepared for my client's needs. When my client arrived I was on their schedule. They paid by the hour and I did whatever they wanted (well almost whatever), drove wherever they wanted to go, even if it meant driving across multiple states. Whenever I went on these long excursions, It was so difficult to return to the usual everyday schedule of airport transit. So it is with serving God in this manner.

2) People think you're anti-social

While He is working this way of living into my life, it will seem that way. But I have noticed that He causes me to view people in a different way. It seems that everyone has become precious to me. When I am around people, I find it easier to give wholeheartedly into their lives. I can say this because I used to be a sourpuss. Even now, when I grow distant from God that's a sure way of knowing I'm off. I return to my curmudgeon dudgeon dungeon.

I see that He isn't going to let me stay a miserable shambles. I think it's because of those dangerous prayers. You know the ones, "God do whatever it takes to...", or we've all prayed, "make me just like Your Son". I think I winced immediately when those words rolled off my tongue. I think Misty Edwards knows exactly what I mean. Listen to her song ,"You Won't Relent (Until You Have It All) -Track 4 on my blog's Mix Pod above. My Heart is Yours, oh God, most worthy, most holy! You are my everything, my. . .

. . .Where am I? . . .What's my name? I just fell on the floor. Oh Yes, back to writing.

Is this isolated approach worth all it entails?

Even with the difficulties, it is absolutely worth everything. It is worth all the things I give up, the things I used to call "loss". Now I see them as gain. I am finding that God is helping me reintegrate back to a do-able schedule. What I gain is a slight shift in thinking that enables me to re-enter whenever I feel I am growing distant.

Walking this way is like learning a new embouchure (mouth formation) on the trumpet. At first it seems like it's not worth it, but after a while you gain confidence about why you made the change in the first place. Well worth all the changes and times when you thought you couldn't do it.

2) What are the most important triggers for your creative state of mind?

Only three:

Abba Father, Overseer

Jesus, Darling Son of God

Ruach, Spirit of the Most High God

3) What happens to your creativity if your routine is interrupted?

I fall out of sorts. It can lead to personal mayhem. It's both disastrous and painful to dull down once you become sensitized. It's like reintroducing poison into your body's system after you have worked hard to detox. The great thing is God wants me to succeed. So even when I fail, He brushes me off and helps me get back up. Yay God. None of this would be possible or even fathomable, if I were an atheist. But then again, God doesn't believe in Atheists. Yay God, again.